I was prepared, at least, I thought I was. Now that I looked back, there probably wasn’t anything much that I can do to prepare for it. It came, all of it came, clashing at the same time – the change of the luck pillar, the death and emptiness, the fire horse and fire goat year.
I started studying Bazi around 10 years ago, an attempt to understand myself and those around me. But there’s a big difference between studying theoretically and experiencing the practical itself. Not that you can’t stop and change your “destiny”, after all, Bazi, only represents a third of your life, but it’s going to be difficult, depending whether you are going with, or against the flow. In my case, it will be against.
There’s no good or bad, nor right or wrong. It’s just different options available for you to make your choice.
I tried to choose otherwise. I really did, I thought hard for at least a year since those energy changed, before I slowly felt the full force of it. No doubt Bazi is only one third of my life, but the other one third, the environment, supported it, and so left the last third – my decision.
Everyday, and even more now, especially at work, it felt like something is trying to get out from my head. I can’t seem to tame it anymore. I can, should, need and want to do something else. This is not the life I want.
I want to reboot my life.
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